“You pointed a weapon at on of my officers,” from what I identified as Herashio’s voice coming from the televison. With an episode of CSI Miami acting as background noise, a relaxed, ugly and tiny pooch resting against my thigh — I sit here against this cold leather sofa, thinking about a recent conversation I had with a client.

Essentially, this project has been in progress for about a Month, a client from a large city west of the Mississippi and nestled within the overly egotistical population of Texas decides they would prefer to see a mock-up/composition with their proposal. Needless to say, I have a few thoughts about the request.

How about a, “are you fucking kidding me?” Who in their right mind would offer up free services to send as a perk with a project that does not have a line item in the ledger associated with it. At present, only phone discussions, email transcripts and time have been spent, but at this rate I could find myself spending more money getting the project than I am willing to part with.

The cost of operating a business you might say. Not to me. I guess I would be more willing to assign someone to the task of generating some design compositions towards this project if I were receiving some sort of compensation: hand job, useful company merchandise or even oral pleasures. I have not even received so much as a Thank you for your time.

“A woman died in your store,” rings in the background, the most recent dialect from this overhyped and relentlessly over-played television program. An incense is burning and it reminds me of the days in my history that I attempted to cover the scent of marijuana.

I phoned another associate who often finds himself offering up his interaction services, “I wouldn’t do it,” he said loudly. I totally agree. I could understand if I was a simple, single-man operation, freelance or just bored out of my gourd. But I am not. I am an individual, responsible for the health, welfare, and income generated for multiple people.

Making bad decisions is something I am prone to do, but not at the risk of financials. How about you take your request to get a free composition, mock-up, or homepage design — whatever you feel as though you should call it and stick it right up your asshole clown.

That is what I would really like to say. Instead I mention, “if you are willing to sign a contract and pay for the billable hours associated with the design composition, we can begin producing something viable.” But in reality, we can’t. We can make anything we want at any price we want. It is the benefit of our industry. But all you punk fucking kids out there with photoshop are ruining business for real, educated and experienced user-interaction companies.

There is a process, strategy, and proven method used to determine what elements are included in an interface design. We don’t just open Finder and double-click photoshop, throw in some graphics and call it a day. We analyze, study, solicit feedback, input and expression. We mix your personality with our skills; your requirements with absolute necessities; and fight revisions with function over design.

The kids with photoshop I mentioned before are all fun to have around. They have a purpose, whether it be inspiration or competition. Sometimes they act as motivation and proof that we are the best in our industry.

Overall, I want to say “fuck you!” to you schmucks thinking you can be everything but a designer, but continue to pound out modified versions of Template Monster templates.

To everyone else, I hope you find this well, a rant, a smooth yet hacked together mental conversation that needs to be placed somewhere. In the end, I guess I will drink my iced-over milk, smoke a cigarette, and conclude with, “let’s go bang bitches!”